About a year ago I was on a call for a two vehicle collision where four individuals were critically injured, the worst of all the injuries being a little boy. We arrived on scene of the accident before it was even dispatched due to a vehicle roll over on the same road less than a mile away. We rolled up to find a smashed up car with too many injuries for a single ambulance and an engine to handle. Before I knew it I had an unconscious, unresponsive child on my gurney. Resuscitation efforts began immediately and miraculously were successful, but there was very little hope for his overall recovery. We transported the child to the nearest hospital and then transferred him to the pediatric center an hour away. My partner and I were with the kiddo from the time of the accident, to the time of disposition five hours later. When we rolled in to the Pediatric ICU, I met his mother, we exchanged a few words, and I left. None of us expected him to last the night.
Flash forward about 12 months. I'm in paramedic school doing my Pediatric ICU rotation, when I hear the patient's name come up in morning report. I wander down to the area they say he's in and sure enough. There he is. Sitting in his wheelchair, looking around, and talking to his Mom. I had heard he was alive and had been following his case on Facebook, but I guess I never realized how alert and oriented he was. It was unbelievable. His mother met me at the door and surprisingly remembered me. She asked for my number to get in touch with myself and the other medics/firefighters involved in his case and later invited us all over to meet the young man, celebrate, and eat steak and crab. The food was great, the joy of meeting someone we helped was amazing.
In my short time as a firefighter/EMT, I have seen some pretty tragic things. Too often, all I get to see of people is them on the worst day of their life. Very rarely do I get the opportunity to follow up with a patient and hear how they are doing. I know for a fact that this little boy gave many of us sleepless nights wondering if there was something we could have done differently, but at the end of the day, we did the best we could. The cool thing was, it was enough. He's here today to talk, cry, and wink at the pretty girls.
So that was my Saturday night. I went home covered in feel-goods and slept like a baby.
Sunday morning I slept in. When I woke up I had a message from my former mother in law inviting me to her open house that afternoon.
Unfortunately, like so many young Americans I am divorced. I'm not going to go into the how, why, or other erroneous details, but like any marriage it took two people to get in and two to get out. We were married for a little over two years, and I believe in the end we were both better off without each other. In the process of getting divorced I lost touch with his family, which was heart breaking for me. I hadn't really spoken to anyone in the family much in the last two years and it was made pretty clear to me that my presence was not overly desired. It's understandable, I didn't hold anything against anyone, but it was certainly a surprise to get invited to the open house. So, I said I'd be there. Getting up the gumption to go inside when the moment came, that was where the effort came. I sat in the driveway for a few minutes reminiscing and almost left. Finally, I figured nothing ventured, nothing gained and went inside. It was awkward for about 30 seconds. Then I got to meet a brand new addition to the family: my former brother/sister-in-law's son, my would-be nephew. Oh, dear god. What a handsome, beautiful baby boy. He's got a Captain America chin, bright blue eyes, and he smiled at me when I held him up like Simba. Melted my little heart. He's going to be such a lady killer, I'm already sold.
Thank goodness for perfect babies breaking the ice because I got to catch up with people I never thought I'd speak to again. It was a relief to hear from them, reestablish a few connections, and just have a normal conversation. Nothing crazy happened, no dramatic blow out, and I walked away from it feeling lighter than I have in a while. I had been holding on to so much angst and anxiety and in a one hour visit, it was just gone.
I don't regret getting married or getting divorced, but I regret hurting people... So it was nice to see some wounds do heal with time.
On a personal note, since my divorce, the comment I get the most from people is "You look so happy!" ...That's because I am. Life has its ups and downs like anything, but for the first time since I can remember, I feel like I can be myself. I've got a pretty amazing support system, a happy home, and I'm pursuing an education I never believed in myself enough to try.
This weekend was pretty awesome. It is just reaffirming my belief that I need to follow my instincts and everything happens for a reason. I think if you can stay positive through the hard times in life, good things will come out in the end.
-Jess
You are one amazing lady.. So glad to have you in our lives every day.
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